forgiveness

How should we respond to wrongdoing? Is it possible - or desirable - to forgive people who don't even acknowledge responsibility? It obviously is, if you love someone unconditionally. But apart from that? And should we aim to 'forgive' everyone - whether or not we love them unconditionally and whether or not they acknowledge responsibility (let alone guilt)? Do we have the right to do so? And would it be a better world if we could?
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'I forgive you for pretending to be what you are not'
'But I am what I pretend to be'
'Well I still forgive you'.
- - -
'I forgive you for defrauding the taxpayer.'
'I intend to do it next year'
'I shall forgive you next year as well'
- - -
'I forgive you for burdening me unjustly'
'I did nothing to burden you'
'But I forgive you'
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Please don't, I say. It ceases to mean anything and only expresses a patronising attitude: who are you, after all, to 'forgive' me for something for which I disclaim any responsibility.
Forgiveness is only a response that we want to meet if we feel some degree of responsibility ourselves, and therefore guilt. It is appropriate, very important, and actually helps (both sides) in such a case. But I would slap someone who 'forgave' me for something I think I didn't do. How dare they. And I would go on (not) doing it harder, just to show I don't desire their moral patronage.
That doesn't mean we have to condemn someone for life, just because they slip-up once - and even if they fail to acknowledge it. But it means that forgiveness is a precious emotion which we do not throw about here and there. It is reserved for special cases where (I think)...
1. The offender actually wants forgiveness
2. We are in a position to forgive (not everyone is)
And we need to realise that in putting ourselves in a position to 'forgive' we are (temporarily) acting as benefactor. We are raising ourselves above the other person. That is something we shouldn't do lightly.
In fact, failing to acknowledge a slip-up is a fairly good sign that an offender doesn't want forgiveness, at all (and you might end up with a slap in the face). I really wonder whether forgiving, in this case, is something we want to encourage as a response. Forgetting, maybe.